LUST

I had hoped it wouldn't come to this, that moment of silence between us that compelled an eye contact which immediately betrayed the passion I had worked so hard to concealed. I cannot even begin to explain how it started, maybe it was access, probably opportunity or maybe the fact that very few men have the opportunity to have a beautiful woman in their life, and not entertain the thought of being with her.

All it took was the acknowledgement of her beauty, yet only in my mind; then came the availability of knowing her and seeing her often. Finally came the circumstances where I could see and interact with her very close corners: her space and her feelings.

Every time she shared about her childhood, her joys, pains and heartbreaks, I felt a little more part of her life. Soon after anything she would wear would instill a sexual impulsion in me; if she was covered from toe to chest, I would glanced at the shoulder with uncontrollable desires. When she wore shorts, all I visualize were her legs, any inches of skin, even the least erogenous ones would nonetheless command an increased sexual appetite.

What can I say about her movements, the way she walked, the way she danced, the way she ran, it didn't matter if she was trying to pick up a laundry bag or moving a chair, in my already captivated mind, each of her moves, even the most mundane ones, were sensual acts meant to arouse me.

I battled my mind and tried to tame my eyes, not to avail. I was not strong enough to domesticate my desires, because my enemy had already crossed my defensive line. All it took was an eye contact, a seemingly innocent remark, and an insightful question, and there I knew that everything I had attempted to bury in mind and erase from my thought, would just travel from my own head to hers, only to return again.

We were fighting the same battle on two different bodies. Our subtle observance of one another was similar to romantic dance in a long extinct tribal language. We then asked ourselves, "why not?"

With the long anticipation of fulfilling our fantasies, we longed for the opportunity to touch one another in a way that so far had been forbidden to us. We could not stand in front of the chance to finally see one another in a way that was so far unacceptable and hear each other expressed ourselves in a passionate way that had been denied for so long. At that moment, our common sense retreated in dark corner in shame, while our bodies valiantly summoned the march by transforming itself in a heightened way. our eyes, our touches, our smell, everything seemed so palpable, so sensitive, so soft, so nice...yes very nice.

We gave ourselves to one another in a passionate way that neither felt had been experienced before, and yet it had. What we had given ourselves to was LUST, not passion. What common sense did not tell us before it retreated is that it was taking wisdom with it. Wisdom would have told us that Lust is like a drug, full of side effects.

We are incorrigible in that way, like petulant child, we often act without weighing the consequences of our actions. when we conceived the possibility of sleeping together, we refused to consider the outcome of our actions. We ignore that we were married, dating, friends and incapable to live up to the consequences of our actions. And so we hurt ourselves, hurt others and moved on with more confusion...until society feeling bad for us came to our rescue and told us that it is OK; We should do what we feel like doing, we should let our bodies and sense control us, because the opposite is impossible. Society told us that everybody does it, it is natural, it is what God wanted, which is why it such a strong urge.

"IT" is Lust, the strong and uncontrollable appetite for sexual desires. Lust is the final and most deadly of the 7 relationsins. Lust is conceived in our heads, and we do not know how to satisfy it, so we do whatever it takes, even if it takes envy, Vanity, Gluttony, Sloth, Avarice or Wrath. It doesn't matter if we are single or not, when Lust creeps in unchecked, like a drug, we are consumed by the only thought of how we are going to satisfy it.

It is not surprising that Sex occupy such a big part of our society, and has been a source of contention for generations. How to control it, how to contain it, how to express it, or how to achieve a lot of it. Alas, unlike Love, Lust is not lasting and is pleasurable only until fulfilled, then it unleashes an array of baggages that leaves confused, disappointed and eventually vulnerable to more Lust.

Lust is not a behavioral sin, but a psychological one. The failure of many comes from their attempt to resist and fight Lust. Lust is defeated with a preemptive strike. There is no shame in avoiding a hot babe that wants you if it means saving relationship; there is no honor in sleeping with another man because you are unhappy in your relationship.

Lust is the romantic equivalent get-rich-quick schemes, a high risk, quick return ponzi scheme that will quicly burst like the housing market, and in some cases, because of Lust, some will literary lose their home; SO take it easy Tiger (pun intended), and run before Lust takes over.

There will always be another beautiful woman you have never seen, there will always be another man who finds you attractive, there will always be a hotter body and more attractive portfolio. It is the second you decide to entertain the thought of actually imagining the possibility of...that Lust begins and causes all the actions seen in the other Relationsins.

Lust is the devil's favorite weapon, and men and women alike have succumbed to the desire to be with someone else, would it be just for a night, an hour, a minute?

For the single, Lust would take one in a quest for a mirage that will never quench their thirst. For the one in a relationship, it would deceive into giving the impression that we made the wrong choice.

In either way, to avoid Lust, one must learn from Joseph, who chose to ran away from Potiphar's wife. One must learn from me who chose to lock myself in a room to avoid doing something wrong (my 1 victory over many defeats).

We shall always remember, that it is not because we saw that we need to conquer. Once conceived, Lust is virtually unbeatable, so we ought to act before it takes root.

James 1: 14-15

But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own Lust, and enticed.

Then when Lust has conceived, it bringeth forth sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.