VANITY

Vanity is a grave sin to carry, a very bad personality trait to have, and an even worse characteristic to display. Nearly all religion, wise saying and cultural proverbs warn against, discourage or condemn vanity. Things seems a little better when it is used in another term, mainly Pride; although it still carry some uneasiness, Pride can be used in positive ways such as the pride of a family, of achievement, etc...it is not bad to be proud of oneself when justified. Vanity, however seems to be pride carried to the negative in Biblical proportion. Vanity seems more appropriate to the context, but truly, satisfaction is also more appropriate in describing the positive angle of Pride.

Some way to look at it would be that Pride is the root of the problem, which if kept unchecked evolves into vanity...yeah...right, in this case however, it will be the same, and as stated in the Bible, Proverbs 16:18 says

"Pride precedes a disaster, and an arrogant attitude precedes a fall"

Again, Pride is the motivation, Vanity the attitude that goes with it, but they're all in family of sin...hi hi hi...actually, not so funny when it comes to relationships. vanity/ Pride is crucial in establishing our attitude before entering a relationship. We are often bias regarding that attitude, because pride ultimately affects the way people look at themselves and others; consequently, when a man is arrogant and proud of himself, many women say that he has swagger, Charisma, manliness, Macho qualities, etc...too few tend to realize that those qualities more than often belittles the women he comes in contact with, and half of the time tends to treat them as objects to be conquered. Similarly when a woman feels so hot she can't be in contact with mere mortals, men are on her trails viewing her as playing hard to get, having an attitude, confident, all which is sexy until it is revealed that she has outer wordily expectations of men, demands a treatment unfit to what she gives in return and requires praises on things that honestly needs a giant flashlight to be found.

What follows are compliments from left and right that convinces one that they are at a certain standard in the numerical scale of dating terminology, which causes opportunities and hearts to be lost or broken. "you are a 10 girl, he's just a 6, you can do better than that"; "Brother, if you end up with a white girl, it's a waste a sexy blackness"; "he's not a your level, let him get a job first"etc....

Pride, and an overly exaggeration of who we are causes us to forget that Christ often refers to his Church as his bride, and in all fairness, the NO-Sin Christ married a quite UGLY bride that was in no way at his level.

When we are consumed with what we should get, we forget what is our main objective. While it is unreasonable to just jump blindly in a relationship that is doomed to fail, we must keep in mind that successful relationships are more about what we mutually bring to the other person, than what we get out of it.

A wise man once told me that "A dating relationship is not a destination in itself...the only valid purpose of dating is marriage."

I disputed that fact until I realized that if not for marriage, then I am either dating with the objective of breaking up a some point, or for the mere desire of using someone else for my emotional or sexual gratification; the first reason is stupid, the second is not very noble.

If I understand the destination, then the specifics change, the size of the bra, the sexiness of the walk, the form of the hips, the curve of the...ok ok...you get the point...bottom line, priorities change.

Physical appearance is the first thing that draws us to someone else, hence are important in establishing the first approach, yet, thinking too much about what or who we should be with defeats the valid purpose of dating, and sets us for disastrous relationships.

Society conditioned us to handpick the race, the eye and hair color, the voice, the size of the chest, the curve on the hips, the height, and the size of you know what, all in the name of diversity and choice. Society also makes us believe that some people are a 10 while others are 2. We end up looking at a camel to help us cross the North pole.

If we humble ourselves, and look at others not as their abilities to match a Glamour or GQ cover, but as their qualities to be devoted partners and fit parents, we may all get the thumbs up from God.

I have fallen guilty of thinking that I could always do better, but the insatiable thirst for human perfection only left me running after a mirage; pride truly precedes disaster, Vanity is a succulent meal that never satisfies hunger.

Vanity or Pride is the first Sin that prevents many single from enjoying a promising relationships, and condemn others from benefiting from a healthy one.

The ability to get over Pride or vanity is a huge step that opens the door of relationship success, but it is like a resume, what it does is really get you through the door...you've accomplish much, but there is still work to do...like getting over the side effect of vanity, such as Gluttony?

Prov 23:29, "A person's pride will bring him low, but a lifestyle of humility will attain honor."