Does Sex have to be naughty to be fun? this was the title of an article on MSNBC.com last week, and while it focused about the growing boredom of couples of every ages in the sexual department, given that every taboo has been broken, it got me thinking about the fundamentally wrong approach to sex in this society.
When it does not focuses on "performance", sex is viewed as a thrill seeking experience or a service supposed to to top itself continually with diversity, updates, improvements and pushing boundaries.
Having a fulfilled, intense and interesting sex life his as healthy as can be, but one point that the article pointed at is how the new generation seems to long for something new, or rather something old; gone are the days of budding romances, passionate chases, sensual touches, seductive looks and growing Love. Today we have a millions to-do and how-to books and websites for sexual purposes. We have fast-food chains like sex shops, while meeting one sexual needs is as easy as finding a Walmart.
What I lamented is omitting is not just the sacred approach to sex, but also the fundamental ingredient of a couple being able to fulfill one another. Increasingly, despite the majority of monogamous couple, it seems a given now that to have a good sexual life, most couples must take classes, attend seminars, include or invite other people in the sex life, have affairs or emulate sex-workers.
It has always been my opinion and experience that the determined chase to a girl's heart, and her honest attempt to make you run around so she can better assess your intentions were the golden steps that leads to a healthy relationship where communication and honesty prevails. A healthy communication in a relationship in my opinion extends to the sexual level as well.
Sex being the physical expression of one's Love, can only be as healthy and good as the relationship in general is; what is happening, I fear is a total disconnect between all aspects of the relationship, which leads to attempts of fixing them separately.
When sex is not good, most couple instead of looking within, look outward for quick fixes, from bringing extra partners, doing ridiculous role plays like one being an animal or a slave, to abusing food or animals.
It is similar to trying different drugs, and always looking for the the one that will give the stronger effect; people try all kinds of bizarre and twisted activities to stimulate their sexual lives, they look for the next exciting stuff, they explore new sexual orientation, loan each other's friends, whip, spank and dehumanize each other, all for the sole purpose of having that naughty sex everybody raves is the best.
Do I really need to Physically abuse my wife in a batman costume to satisfy her? will she really resort to openly share me with other women to appreciate me? Do we have to break the law, expose ourselves in public and risk hazardous disease to fulfill each others sexually? What is next, a threesome with the neighbors cat? lighting one of us on fire?
The lines between bondage, fetishes and other sexual deviancy is getting blurred due to many inabilities to recognize that what makes sex great is none other than the two people involved in it, and how they feel about one another.
Does sex have to be naughty to be fun? Absolutely not. Do you have to be sarcastic to be funny? I think not.
Talk to one another, and avoid naughty lines, for there is the secret of your sex life...
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