Is "Naughty sex" actually healthy sex?

Does Sex have to be naughty to be fun? this was the title of an article on MSNBC.com last week, and while it focused about the growing boredom of couples of every ages in the sexual department, given that every taboo has been broken, it got me thinking about the fundamentally wrong approach to sex in this society.

When it does not focuses on "performance", sex is viewed as a thrill seeking experience or a service supposed to to top itself continually with diversity, updates, improvements and pushing boundaries.

Having a fulfilled, intense and interesting sex life his as healthy as can be, but one point that the article pointed at is how the new generation seems to long for something new, or rather something old; gone are the days of budding romances, passionate chases, sensual touches, seductive looks and growing Love. Today we have a millions to-do and how-to books and websites for sexual purposes. We have fast-food chains like sex shops, while meeting one sexual needs is as easy as finding a Walmart.

What I lamented is omitting is not just the sacred approach to sex, but also the fundamental ingredient of a couple being able to fulfill one another. Increasingly, despite the majority of monogamous couple, it seems a given now that to have a good sexual life, most couples must take classes, attend seminars, include or invite other people in the sex life, have affairs or emulate sex-workers.

It has always been my opinion and experience that the determined chase to a girl's heart, and her honest attempt to make you run around so she can better assess your intentions were the golden steps that leads to a healthy relationship where communication and honesty prevails. A healthy communication in a relationship in my opinion extends to the sexual level as well.

Sex being the physical expression of one's Love, can only be as healthy and good as the relationship in general is; what is happening, I fear is a total disconnect between all aspects of the relationship, which leads to attempts of fixing them separately.

When sex is not good, most couple instead of looking within, look outward for quick fixes, from bringing extra partners, doing ridiculous role plays like one being an animal or a slave, to abusing food or animals.

It is similar to trying different drugs, and always looking for the the one that will give the stronger effect; people try all kinds of bizarre and twisted activities to stimulate their sexual lives, they look for the next exciting stuff, they explore new sexual orientation, loan each other's friends, whip, spank and dehumanize each other, all for the sole purpose of having that naughty sex everybody raves is the best.

Do I really need to Physically abuse my wife in a batman costume to satisfy her? will she really resort to openly share me with other women to appreciate me? Do we have to break the law, expose ourselves in public and risk hazardous disease to fulfill each others sexually? What is next, a threesome with the neighbors cat? lighting one of us on fire?

The lines between bondage, fetishes and other sexual deviancy is getting blurred due to many inabilities to recognize that what makes sex great is none other than the two people involved in it, and how they feel about one another.

Does sex have to be naughty to be fun? Absolutely not. Do you have to be sarcastic to be funny? I think not.

Talk to one another, and avoid naughty lines, for there is the secret of your sex life...

Top 10 female sex fantasies...and probable sickest too. (5-1))

So here it is, the next top 5 female fantasies; although we know and accept that fantasies are just that fantasies, it nonetheless reveals the places were we allow our minds to wander, and like anything else, we either go in good or bad places...

1. Threesome With Two Men

"This top 10 female sex fantasy involves the woman being worshipped and adored by two gorgeous men. These men are typically heterosexual and, therefore, only interested in the woman -- which translates into a whole lot of action for her. Her sex fantasy might be as innocent as being penetrated by one man while performing oral sex on the other or it might go further. This female sex fantasy is the ultimate taboo for many women, which makes it all the more fun to imagine.”

Why is it sick? This may be the tamest fantasy around, and this may sound quite hypocritical coming from a man, because men have the exact same fantasy about being with 2 women, a fantasy usual scorned by women but if we judge by the validity of the claim above, it’s fair game. This fantasy is not that sick, not because it validates a male fantasy, but because it taps into human’s deep hope of not having to make a choice; monogamy is the decision to be exclusive to one, threesome fantasies are the dream of what if…it may be fun to imagine, but it is also playing trick games with one’s mind and teasing the boundaries of possibility. The sick part is that it entertains the thought of one not being enough and more is better. A thinking pattern that has proved to be false, exposing those minds we ought to be distrustful of because of that insatiable lust. One funny tidbit is that while men are often incapable of settling for one woman, look who is fantasizing about threesome, any threesome…2 out of 10, not even men want that many variants of threesomes…

2. Voyeurism

"Your woman likes to watch for the same reasons as you do: It’s erotic, exhilarating and slightly taboo. She may fantasize about peeping through the neighbor’s bedroom window, spying on a kinky couple in the park or even catching a full-on orgy from the sidelines… it allows to her be naughty without getting her hands dirty, so to speak. "

Why is it sick? Behold the legendary curious nature of the female kind…! We all knew that women were curious, but to the point of fantasizing about being a Peeping Tina? Now, this is one fantasy that is bound to be solo, because it is hard to imagine a man trying to fulfill his woman’s fantasy by offering her a pair of binoculars to spy on the neighbors…this may cause us to review the entire purpose of fantasies, because to tell me that she gets on by watching is one thing (however peculiar in its own form), but to fantasize about it? Oh la la la…either way…if the janitor at the gym enjoys watching ladies shower, it is creepy…so someone explain to me why I shouldn’t be concerned about this female fantasy?

3. Force Fantasies

“Force fantasies are massively popular among women. Most psychologists believe this top 10 female sex fantasy allows a woman to have the wild, dirty sex she craves, without having to suffer the guilt that often follows. These female sex fantasies usually involve a gorgeous man carrying her off to his bedroom and quickly getting down to business. She’ll protest as he tears her clothing off and expertly arouses her body, but on the inside, she’ll love every minute of it.”

Why is it Sick? Well because she is not entirely normal, regardless of what people say, Fantasies are an indication of one’s mind process, the question of whether they’ll act on it or not is all about the trigger which is independent of their will since the thought is already in…there are women across the globe who live daily under the threat, fear or risk of rape, while there are many men who are locked up because of rape, maybe it is time to have those rapist meet our little day-dreamers, who knows, they may have a different opinion about how Hot rough sex is….

4. Exhibitionism

“She might cringe when you bring up the topic of making homemade porn flicks, but your woman has probably fantasized about doing precisely that at one time or another. Unfortunately, most women are far too body-conscious to experiment with such things, making this a top 10 female sex fantasy, as opposed to a reality. Believe it or not, some women even take this desire to the next level, fantasizing about others watching as you shag her silly in a public place.”

Why is it sick? This remains matter of personal opinion, but for one the mere notion of intimacy involves privacy; ok, so you do not want privacy, well it still strikes me very bizarre that while women have worked so hard to have their body viewed as something else than a sexual avenue, and made so much effort to prove that they can actually use their brain, some women actually fantasizes about doing some porn…this is the woman’s version of men street mentality, where perfectly well raised young men fantasizes about being from the street…so you still say healthy fantasy?

5. Private Dancer

“Most women wouldn’t have the nerve to strip in a public setting, but this top 10 female sex fantasy definitely involves taking it all off. She loves the idea of tantalizing you with a striptease, and she’d love to give you a private lap dance. Why? Your enjoyment tells her you find her attractive, and your erection tells her she has control -- a potent combination that women simply can’t get enough of.”

Why is it sick? Because it defies everything we have tried to comprehend about women…in other words, why the heck are strip clubs still viewed in such a negative way when men love it and women dream about working there? Why do men have to lie and hide to go to a strip club when they may have someone at home who only dreams of doing it? Why do women love shopping for clothes so much when their fantasy is to take it out? Well why do women talk about demeaning women while it is their #1 fantasy…?because at the bottom, there is something inherently sick and abnormal about that fantasy…

"I was working outside, because of the heat I removed my t-shirt. The work was strenuous, sweat dripping all over me, i was nonetheless determined to finish. I sensed a look hovering around me, and when I looked up, there she was, beautiful and only covered with the sheets she had slept on, she stared at me and smiled; I looked into her eyes, I liked it...but it also scared me, because I did not know where she had taken me..."

Top 10 female sex fantasies...and probable sickest too. (10-5)

It is a man's deepest desire to be able to satisfy his woman in all ways; but the woman is a mystery, so men run around looking for tips, secrets and infos that would help. Many magazines are claiming to be "the" magazine for men, those that will make them "MEN", but the closer you inch toward a fulfilling relationship, the more you realize that their view of masculinity doesn't really push that way. Askmen.com magazine recently published for the enlightenment of all men, the top 10 female sex fantasies; most of them are pretty much known to all, but the question is the following: if those are women fantasies, why reveal them, so we can help them act on it? and as anyone ever took a deep analysis on those fantasies? I did, and my conclusion, if I am with a woman who has some of those fantasies, I am running on the other direction very fast...because some of them are just sick...look for yourself, starting from the least popular

1. Domination (her dominating you):

"The entire scenario revolves around you worshipping her body and begging for her attention. Why? She gets to be in control while enjoying total devotion from her man in the process. What more could she want?"

Why is it sick? You’d think that if a woman is getting naked and ready to sleep with a man, the entire worshiping her and full attention is covered right? The entire woman emancipation is understandable, but is sex really the next turf war? This is some serious unresolved gender complex that needs to be addressed, and if it comes through the form of fantasies…beware.

2. Domination (you dominating her)

"She wants to be owned -- if only while in the bedroom (after which, she’ll want a clear return to equality). This win-win female sex fantasy scenario allows her to fully indulge her femininity, while still espousing the merits of feminism."

Why is it sick? Deep inside this type of woman’s fantasy is rooted the belief that to be a real woman, she must be owned and controlled by a man…so much for years of struggle to stop being viewed as a sex object right? In a perfect world, she’d be owned and still be equal…which is like asking for sunshine and snow at the same time, it fits the description as a fantasy, but if this is what gets her going…not all that normal…nope.

3. Teacher/student:

"Women love the idea of dressing up like a schoolgirl and parading about for your viewing pleasure. Many would even like to take it a step further, playing the naughty tart who won’t stop teasing you until you pull her over your knee and give her the spanking she craves."

Why is it sick? Now we are seriously venturing into the disturbing, while this fantasy permeates in society from both men and women, and may pass as normal, it isn’t; first when an adult is turned on by a school girl, fantasy or not, it is not sexy, it is called Pedophilia, so the man who is excited because his woman dresses as school girl probably has pedophile fantasies. If the woman is the one who is turned on by “parading” dressed as a schoolgirl, it means that not only she condones pedophile fantasies, but she also has some remorse about missing the cut in the pedophile attention she craves for…sick. Some try to protect the teacher/student sanctity, others fantasies about burning the line…sick.

4. Sex with a stranger:

"No-strings-attached sex is something many women would love to experience, but most are dissuaded from it thanks to a lofty load of self-produced guilt."

Why is it sick? To begin, it is hard to understand why this is a fantasy when it is not only prevalent, acceptable and expected in many cases; people have sex with strangers everyday so often that it is “Sex with the significant other” that should be the fantasy. If some women are not willing and capable of doing it, but still fantasize about it, either they have deep issues about monogamous relationships, or they simply envy the animals in a bad way…after all, when your cat goes across the neighborhood and get with the stray cat, nobody goes “Fifi, you do not know this cat!!!”…you got it, sex with strangers is how animals get down…some humans do it too…but to fantasize about it? Issues…

5. Threesome with another woman

“These days, it’s fairly common for straight women to get down with other women now and again, making this top 10 female sex fantasy a not-so-unrealistic possibility. That being said, this threesome fantasy rarely involves you getting playtime with the second hottie, as most girlfriends do not want to see their man touch another woman. In this scenario, you’re meant to play voyeur until your woman is ready for something more hardcore. This allows her to experience the best of both worlds without having to worry about things like jealousy or sharing.”

Why is it sick? Heu…because it means the woman is a lesbian…forget the crap about the bisexual scam…homosexuality is a term that defines same-sex…hum…activity; once someone gets down with the same sex, they ARE homosexual…it doesn't matter if it is once in a blue moon, or 24/7. If you kill someone, you are a murderer…nobody will say “well he both kills some people, but let some live too...so technically, he is a part-time killer.” No…and if on top of that, the man doesn't get a crack at the other woman…definitely a lesbian covert-operation. This type of threesome is "the male fantasy almost always initiated by a woman"…this is sick because you’re dealing with an unstable mind, incapable of sticking with you, yet not willing to leave you, incapable of choosing a sexual orientation, so pulling you into the salad…this is not a man with 2 women, this is a woman who can’t settle so she becomes a hoarder; While everybody raves about this fantasy, what it is underlying is the fear and inability of making a choice and standing on a position; the same mindset of those who want to be married yet act single, who want kids yet act irresponsibly…this is the first crack you see at the reason why the fabric of a society is destroyed: Inability to make a decision and stand by it. On the other hand, I would dispute the frequency at which “straight women get down with other women”, and if it is a woman’s fantasy…as a man, leave this sick one and go find a real, full heterosexual woman.

There it is, the first 5 top female sex fantasies, and their sickest parts, feel free to let me know what you think, share it and become a follower to know when the next 5 are up.