'Till God do us Apart

It never matters how much our closed ones try to tell us that beautiful people are everywhere, that what matters is the character of the individual, and that nationality, race, etc...are nothing else but details bent on making our choices harder rather than easier...we are either bent on embracing the difference with no reserve, or hate it with no held barrels.

Some will say that she was just another woman, but those are the people from where she comes, to me she was different, just because she was not from where I was. Suddenly everything she did was extra charming, a little more seductive, it was...simply exotic.

When we love difference, we love it seriously, we cannot explain what it is, except the fact that it is different, therefore must be better. She dressed differently, listened to different music, spoke a different language, and laughed at very different jokes...and I found it Sexy...:-)

It didn't matter to me that she came from a place that is cold as often as my homeland is warm; I didn't see any issue with the fact that her skin tone was much lighter than mine. I thought her musical choice was nothing else but a passion for noise, and she described my dancing moves as a combination of aerobics and gymnastics. All that mattered to me was how good she made me feel and how enjoyable both her company and our conversations were.

I never had a problem with the fact that she didn't eat a specific type of meat, that she was supposed to pray more than twice a day, or that I had to be a little more moderate in my drinking around her. She prayed in yet another foreign language, and I found it Sexy...:-)

But when I decided to contemplate spending even more time with her, in the matter of months, years or a full life, I sought the counsel of many, and made aware of the realities of the world we'd live in.

It suddenly did matter that I prayed in the name of Jesus-Christ, and she called God "Allah". It was an issue that I do drink even moderately; it became a subject of discussion to even suggest the name of a yet to be conceived child together. It became relevant that there are spiritual realities that will impact my walk with God if I was with her, and it appeared to be a seed of family rift that she'd be with me.

Much more issues and drama to be added just to say that it was a problem that she was a Muslim and I a Christian.

I looked into her eyes and admired the mutual devotion that neither of us would convert even for the other; however, others translated that devotion into the precursor of a challenging life we may face if we pursued that romance.

I had to let her go, although she was more willing to try and work on it. I reflected days and night about that dreadful day, and that so-called bold decision, and every time, I end up with teary eyes, head in my hands, facing the harsh reality:

I love her...err...I loved her, 'till God did us apart...

Is "Naughty sex" actually healthy sex?

Does Sex have to be naughty to be fun? this was the title of an article on MSNBC.com last week, and while it focused about the growing boredom of couples of every ages in the sexual department, given that every taboo has been broken, it got me thinking about the fundamentally wrong approach to sex in this society.

When it does not focuses on "performance", sex is viewed as a thrill seeking experience or a service supposed to to top itself continually with diversity, updates, improvements and pushing boundaries.

Having a fulfilled, intense and interesting sex life his as healthy as can be, but one point that the article pointed at is how the new generation seems to long for something new, or rather something old; gone are the days of budding romances, passionate chases, sensual touches, seductive looks and growing Love. Today we have a millions to-do and how-to books and websites for sexual purposes. We have fast-food chains like sex shops, while meeting one sexual needs is as easy as finding a Walmart.

What I lamented is omitting is not just the sacred approach to sex, but also the fundamental ingredient of a couple being able to fulfill one another. Increasingly, despite the majority of monogamous couple, it seems a given now that to have a good sexual life, most couples must take classes, attend seminars, include or invite other people in the sex life, have affairs or emulate sex-workers.

It has always been my opinion and experience that the determined chase to a girl's heart, and her honest attempt to make you run around so she can better assess your intentions were the golden steps that leads to a healthy relationship where communication and honesty prevails. A healthy communication in a relationship in my opinion extends to the sexual level as well.

Sex being the physical expression of one's Love, can only be as healthy and good as the relationship in general is; what is happening, I fear is a total disconnect between all aspects of the relationship, which leads to attempts of fixing them separately.

When sex is not good, most couple instead of looking within, look outward for quick fixes, from bringing extra partners, doing ridiculous role plays like one being an animal or a slave, to abusing food or animals.

It is similar to trying different drugs, and always looking for the the one that will give the stronger effect; people try all kinds of bizarre and twisted activities to stimulate their sexual lives, they look for the next exciting stuff, they explore new sexual orientation, loan each other's friends, whip, spank and dehumanize each other, all for the sole purpose of having that naughty sex everybody raves is the best.

Do I really need to Physically abuse my wife in a batman costume to satisfy her? will she really resort to openly share me with other women to appreciate me? Do we have to break the law, expose ourselves in public and risk hazardous disease to fulfill each others sexually? What is next, a threesome with the neighbors cat? lighting one of us on fire?

The lines between bondage, fetishes and other sexual deviancy is getting blurred due to many inabilities to recognize that what makes sex great is none other than the two people involved in it, and how they feel about one another.

Does sex have to be naughty to be fun? Absolutely not. Do you have to be sarcastic to be funny? I think not.

Talk to one another, and avoid naughty lines, for there is the secret of your sex life...